October 31, 2007
I would love to love halloween but with all those creepy kids n Adults out there screaming n flying around like witches I don even wanna sit on the porch for a smoke.
As for going to the doc today well. I really appriciate the help and she does lift my mood a bit but. I should be able to do it myself. I just can’t. It’s one of those things. I really don’t know if it’s worth continuing ‘life’.
I was at the hospital yesterday due to injuries relating to me trying to kill myself and my partner goin to all lengths to stop. Unfortunately this is not how the hospital saw it. The councilor said it was a typical case of DV. Yeah ok so I’m depressed because my partner is trying to stop me suiciding (makes sense). I’m gonna use this ‘jounal’ of these events so people actually know what went on. Rather then the text book assumptions many professionals and others have made.
I do hope to continue to be here long enough to see the light and have the dark clouds leave.
What really upsets me the most of this whole thing is. I know it will hurt my family, partner and friends. But I’m only here to let them know I’m ok.
I will always keep my real identity private but I’m sure when time comes people will work out who I am.
Peace, Love, Hope and Happiness be with you all.
October 23, 2007
Tuesdays so much like the others. Unpredictable, Anxiety provoking, Dr Phil watching, Tea drinking, Cigarette smoking hide under the couch day.
OCD really getting to me today. I’m doing everything over and over. If you could just see how much s*** I’m going through just typing this. I still don’t know exactly how to deal with it except hide it from my boyfriend. Sometimes he sees. He might say something and what ever it is I don’t think I wanna hear it.
Well I’m gonna get out an old comic and read it maybe it’ll settle me down. I know Ill probably only read to page 32 but lucky usually these publications only go to 32. Yay
Aftewards I’ll get on my bike n go to the shops. I won’t be going in but I will get there n hang for a bit till I shake a bit of anxiety off. I’ve been doin this for nearly 2 weeks (since I left the treatment program) and I have sorta noticed my anxiety dropping. Some days are better then others. I still have Diazepam for the bad days but on the days I’m feeling a bit strong I use to my advantage by getting out of the house or doing things I wouldn’t usually.
October 22, 2007
Well It’s me Nightworrier. From all those dodgy pages people propably get incriminated on. So I’m making a blog I can express (and possibly Incriminate myself lol) No seriously lol really seriously lol well any way this is only my first post so it aint that juicy. Catch you tomorow. Peace.