From the lowest to the depths of hell. I waited 2 years to hear from my brother my best friend the kid I love so much, He contacted me I was so excited and relieved and then he told me how insignificant my life is, How I am just not worth it. This broke my heart and left me unable to move or talk for days, Don’t even mention food, Then I see my psychologist and she says what they all say. He is a grown man. He can deal with things. I never thought I would be living this far from him. I never thought he would disregard me so easily. WHat is the point. I tried again, a massive overdose and woke in hospital but of course the mental health ‘team’ one person says I am doing fine and just need to relax and go to church!!!. I am 6 months or more passed relaxing. I was promised DBT 2 years ago. So I turn up for my appointment and they tell me I have the wrong day even though I have they’re card saying the time they refuse to look at it and take me into another room where I had spent 2 hours filling out there commitment forms just to hear them say you need a specialist and we can’t help you we will not consider you for DBT. I think death might be my only way out of this enormously shit situation. I don’t think I am sorry anymore. I asked for help I asked over and over until I was demoralized to the point I have nothing left. I wish just one person was close enough to talk to but this seems to possible be the very last post. I have not slept or eaten for weeks, I am in pain all the time. I cannot afford docs or meds anymore. I am on a very thin thread. Love to all. I hope you can handle it down here because I cannot. I will leave now. Thanks M.I and P.A for your ongoing help. I am sorry to let you down. Peace, I have had enough. I cannot sustain my life anymore. Your friend, Nightworrier. You are in my thoughts.
I don’t swear often but, Fuck I am a total idiot, a fuckwit as they say, What did I do. 4 months ago I screwed up my life beyond Belief. The pain emotionally is worse than I could have ever imagined, I don’t want to relate it to other loses in my life but a day a moment that will run through my head over and over, Probably till I die. The one person that gave me trust and believed in me, I destroyed it. Like I do my work, friends… Life. Few people really care. Don’t hurt them or loose them because one day you are annoyed, If it gets that bad just have the day off, take time to get yourself together again. Don’t destroy the things you love or the things/or people who help. You might feel like it with all the rage you are left with sometimes, But I can say with certainty It is not something you should ever do ❤
Now to deal with T.N pain, 2mg Clonaz and something else. Sorry government contract means I can’t say a darn thing to anyone, yes I have no one to talk to, This Blog has kept me alive and slightly less lonely than a person living off the grid unintentionally.
Enjoy and accept help from the great people in this world if all you have left are dickhead friends you’re better off alone, keep your sanity and dignity. Don’t let them drown you.
I am alone and yes I feel suffocated, In a terrible way.
I have nothing to hide so I am going to share it. I didn’t want to use names but if we all keep quiet about the things in this world like war and personal vendettas. No one will be helped and there will inevitably be more suffering.
The meek in this world are prone to suffering and sadly we have predators who find them as prey, I am learning to stop the silence. Abuse can take on many forms and this one is particularly nasty, People who ask for help are particularly vulnerable and Some nurses find these people easy targets for whatever reason they like to pick on them and accuse them of the most outrageous things, tearing the patient open like an autopsy and not even attempting to put the pieces back together.
I will be posting my entire ”Mental health summary” up here today I think it’s time people saw what was written about them. About half the facts in this letter are false.Mainly because of one mental health nurse David Hains (He is only a crisis worker and cannot give out diagnoses) He has labelled me All kinds of things he has even Stolen from me and told me he took it After investigation it turns out he kept it and gave it to one of his kids!!! Had he done this to the wrong person the outcome may be different (He has put his kids in threat before himself, I see some very wrong things happening),
He assumed much about my life (All intolerably wrong, eg, Living on the streets- Never, neglected and abused by family-wrong again , Called ME a thief – I pride myself on respecting others and not hurting those around me, Accused me of being weak and getting raped by my friends!!! This is so very wrong, When I refused to answer anything he took them all as yes. And wrote it all down in his words and his sick mind, There is much more) This has caused me much distress and much more harm than good,
This is a story of an Acis worker that has lied about me and got himself a little print up featured in this week – ”Idiot of the year” Blog. This (Man) If you can call him that has sent me from hospital to his church to get better, Told Emergency doctors to ignore me when I had Ross River virus, He told them I was in withdrawals, (Of what? At that point in my life I was on panadol/Apap/Tylenol only) this was years before I got Trigeminal. He has lied to many other workers about me, Stood in my room and accused me of several things I had never heard of. He even put in the summary threatened to stab a medical officer for drug related reasons ( The so called victim Doctor is unnamed – because they don’t exist!!! – This is a non incident!!! Nothing but more lies to add to this summary)
A wide berth should be given at the sight of this man who dresses like a church preacher (Long white shirt down to his knees), He has short ginger/grey hair and beard, tries to have a scruffy look to appear jesus like!!! (I’m sure that is helpful to the schizophrenics (who usually yell out things like antichrist when he is in they’re room) Should you have an encounter with this man, Make sure you collect all the details you can I know in these situations it can be hard but ask for a pen and paper Do your best to put correct time and date (This goes for any mental health worker in your country city in the world) . Plus as many details he has written about you, He is acting like a fantasy short novelist instead of an accurate, caring, mental health worker doing his job. If you want help moving these people out of the system, You can email me at Ebeboy@hotmail.com I will help and direct you to Some help that will clean up the mess he makes and help you get your medical history honest.
It is sad I have to actually name these people but if we leave them in the system they will make people worse, More people will be misdiagnosed and people like him will get away with unethical treatment of the people who need it most.
So later today I will show you all the things he has written down and hard stone facts. I will then clearly review it for you all to have a good look at and see the major problems Australia is having with these misfit mental health nurses.
I’m not worried he will read this, Firstly even if he does manage to google himself he then has to read…
So don’t be afraid to email me. I have some good information to share. What ever you Do do not call the Advocate!!!, Not only will they find ways of not apologizing for mistakes but they are actually the same church people as David Hains (of FMC Flinders Medical Hospital) (Acute Crisis Intervention Team) so they will always cover each other.
This is not to say all the other workers are in this category, there are actual real mental health workers in there that go above and beyond to help people they deserve medals for their work.
David Hains is a hindrance to the whole system and I would bet if he was out of the system entirely (He is a wasted paycheck) A lot more Patients/people would find they will actually be able to move on from the pain he causes. Possibly they can even find a life where they will never be sent to hospital and never need to go in voluntarily. Like I mentioned he isn’t the only one there and soon he probably won’t find himself there much longer, Keep the emails coming in. This is how we make a change in the world. This is what will help hopefully hundreds or thousands from the sting of the wasp.
I have lost a friend forever directly resulting from his treatment toward her. I will never see her or get to call her again. She also had 3 kids who now have no Mother, Her Mother is in such a state since it happened 3-4 years ago. Every year I think of her and in my blog she is referred to as S.J for her anonymity. David refused to let her diagnosis of Bipolar be treated and called her borderline personality. Therefore no treatment. After both S.J and I left out inpatient stays we caught up often to help each other she told me everything, When I found out the reason she was no longer being treated because of her ”borderline” She said she was just too depressed to argue. I watched the results in detail on the news a week later. I still wonder why there was no inquiry into the Mental health worker. This is so very tragic and not the only one!!!
The past time they have given me has been interesting I have spoken to many of his old patients and found many common answers and some have felt quite aggressive toward him. This is where the mental health nurse should listen, I have warned other patients of his not to say a thing to him. (unfortunatly this may result in them getting another random diagnosis as he thinks he is a bit of a Bigshot with a 5 minute diagnosis (That could ruin or prevent the person getting the right help.)
Peace & Love Especially to those in need right now.
P.S I will be also be uploading my summary of the treatments and diagnoses of the person in question. I think it’s only fair that if he is going to put false information about me in the public domain, I as a citizen and victim of the mental health system should tell the truth.
I must stress the hospital is not to blame nor the doctors, Only 1 or 2 ”Mental health workers” that are doing much damage to people and the entire system. Like I say most of the staff there are doing their job and doing it well.
Please read my summary carefully, Make your mind on what you think the problem is even better if you can pinpoint where things are going wrong Feel free to leave a comment.
This site as of next week will be just http://www.nightworrier.com
Enjoy the read, many strange things happen here.
Peace and Love,
Your Friendly loyal Australian Mental Health Blogger,
Say in a sarcastic, Button pushing way ”I was thinking of stabbing you” to your psychologist,.. Just to test the waters!!!
If you do it’s more unlikely you would ever actually do it, I would have hoped he realised I wanted to say something to him, Something that would take a lot of trust.
That was my dumbest thing I did this year.
Your very dumb but very loyal blogger,
I have had many mris and mre scans? can’t remember. Allergy tests, consultations on brain surgery which always ends up the same – “sorry the aneurysm is to close to the brain stem and we can’t fix it but we will keep zapping your brain with cts, and mris till we get the answer we want.” Which will never happen it’s just pointless half hour conversation on how TN is just going to be there indeterminately. Then I leave the hospital feeling helpless and useless to the world.
Which brings me to the psychologist who is a great doctor but at the moment I am going through some difficult things with him. I want to get over these thoughts of everything and I trust he can help, I just feel scared to say anything as I would rather try to forget the past. Seems like the right thing to do right, No it’s not We all have to face our problems no mater how hard it seems. Eventually the thoughts are supposed to become so boring I don’t stay up all night worrying.
My GP and Psychiatrist are doing everything they can think of. Bless them.
It probably wasn’t the perfect time to start telling him, as I had a performance to put on in between sessions. I can’t stop thinking about the things I have revealed to him.
I don’t know what I will say everytime I turn up to the session I feel really weird/scared, But as soon as I get in the room I’m ok, He is not intimidating at all and lets me say what I need but also asks me to talk about things which I feel are hurting me in someway, I gotta get out of this head space.
All up I do have very good doctors that do everything in their power to give me some quality of life.
Please don’t think oh but you have skills and qualities others don’t well you all have skills and qualities I don’t. So please don’t compare my “fantastic life” with reality. I have had so many “mental health experts tell me, “You have so much to live for- by the way are you on drugs because u sound blah blah, I am sure on the call list when you ring the help line the first thing they always say is what have you taken? they could just read the file and see I have TN and some/ most of the time I don’t talk perfectly clear. I hung up on the last person to say that. even after I said I am going in a competition (no drugs rule) Why the hell would I compromise that.
Well that’s all I have to say at this time of morning, Peeace, look after yourself and son’t let the big man drown ya.