November 14, 2007
The last few days I’ve had sleep at night I’ve eaten almost normally and I haven’t been as depressed. A close friend pointed out today how much better I was sounding. Then I realised I am feeling a bit better. I have less depressing thoughts and am seeing things differently in the big picture. I’m not sure weather it’s the Oxazepam or the Tramadol but I think one of them is lightening my mood. The Oxazepam has been excellent for panic attacks. it works rather fast and soothes my racing thoughts. I think I still prefer diazepam at the end of the day because it lasts through the everyday constant irrational anxiety and calms my body down(eg. Sweating, pounding heart) but the Oxazepam is good as a fast acting anti panic attack medication that puts ya feet back on the ground. I hope I continue improving like this. I will keep working hard at it.
Well that’s my thoughts for now.
October 23, 2007
Tuesdays so much like the others. Unpredictable, Anxiety provoking, Dr Phil watching, Tea drinking, Cigarette smoking hide under the couch day.
OCD really getting to me today. I’m doing everything over and over. If you could just see how much s*** I’m going through just typing this. I still don’t know exactly how to deal with it except hide it from my boyfriend. Sometimes he sees. He might say something and what ever it is I don’t think I wanna hear it.
Well I’m gonna get out an old comic and read it maybe it’ll settle me down. I know Ill probably only read to page 32 but lucky usually these publications only go to 32. Yay
Aftewards I’ll get on my bike n go to the shops. I won’t be going in but I will get there n hang for a bit till I shake a bit of anxiety off. I’ve been doin this for nearly 2 weeks (since I left the treatment program) and I have sorta noticed my anxiety dropping. Some days are better then others. I still have Diazepam for the bad days but on the days I’m feeling a bit strong I use to my advantage by getting out of the house or doing things I wouldn’t usually.