Well this distraction have become more of an obsession. I’ve done nearly 1 oil painting each second day It focuses my mind completely. But am I just using painting like using a drug. I mean I stay up all night so I can open the turps a canvas and some sweet oil paints. It’ feels so comforting to paint I guess because I have no limits to paint things the way I see them.
Overall the painting therapy is great. I just want to fell some satisfaction in what I do or someone to say I really like your paintings. Yeah 1 person had said something good about them but they probably feel obligated to say something nice.
Well my paintings don’t scare me So I’ll be living in a colourful world of paints till I get better. I will get better folks.
Its 10 oclock at night here. I’ve had my olanzapine, and Valium.
Just still feel low, anxious and sad