Painting (distraction therapy) part 2

April 5, 2008

Well this distraction have become more of an obsession. I’ve done nearly 1 oil painting each second day It focuses my mind completely. But am I just using painting like using a drug. I mean I stay up all night so I can open the turps a canvas and some sweet oil paints. It’ feels so comforting to paint I guess because I have no limits to paint things the way I see them.

Overall the painting therapy is great. I just want to fell some satisfaction in what I do or someone to say I really like your paintings. Yeah 1 person had said something good about them but they probably feel obligated to say something nice.

Well my paintings don’t scare me So I’ll be living in a colourful world of paints till I get better. I will get better folks.

Its 10 oclock at night here. I’ve had my olanzapine, and Valium.

Just still feel low, anxious and sad



Last Night

March 4, 2008

I couldn’t even move my lower back was in agony. My face (TN) was losin it too. I just couldn’t stand it. I think If I was able to I woulda gone outfor a long night walk to clear my head ( I was going slightly insane) I eventually fell asleep. Here come the nightmares.

Last night I had a nightmare I was living in a forest ( that wasn’t so bad.) I woke up inside my nightmare The loggers had been and flattened the forest leaving only wood chips and stripped logs dumped to pick up later. The others (don’t ask me what they were) were still trying to find a way to live there. I explained it wold only get worse – We have to move. When I woke up I was still freaking that it was reality.

It’s 2 hours later I still feel freaked out.



Nightworrier logs on

October 23, 2007

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