April 13, 2008
Distraction, distraction and distraction. I can’t even remember basic stuff anymore. I don’t really have an appetite and I can’t really sleep so I’ve been playing a lot of Forza on the xbox. Nice game less killing and violence. I’m staying calm as possible it feels like everything is too much sometimes yeah I’ve probably already stated that a few times in my blogs.
The TN is excrutiating in the morning.. So is the RRV.
Slowly getting use to the olanzapine, although I don’t think it’s working. The Valium works though I just don’t like the fast tolerance.
I’m jus gonna keep doin ma thing n hope it all works out ok.
April 7, 2008
What to say about this drug I. I definetly put it in the 17hr sleep catagory kinda like seroquel. But much more dumbing. As in no nightmares but no memory of anything in everyday thinking. So I leave this post as is just wanted to let you know. Hopefully I wake up for my early therapist.
And by the way if ya feel like gaining 5kgs a week Olanzapine is the go.
*running on spot to loose weight*
April 5, 2008
Well this distraction have become more of an obsession. I’ve done nearly 1 oil painting each second day It focuses my mind completely. But am I just using painting like using a drug. I mean I stay up all night so I can open the turps a canvas and some sweet oil paints. It’ feels so comforting to paint I guess because I have no limits to paint things the way I see them.
Overall the painting therapy is great. I just want to fell some satisfaction in what I do or someone to say I really like your paintings. Yeah 1 person had said something good about them but they probably feel obligated to say something nice.
Well my paintings don’t scare me So I’ll be living in a colourful world of paints till I get better. I will get better folks.
Its 10 oclock at night here. I’ve had my olanzapine, and Valium.
Just still feel low, anxious and sad