I feel happier now it’s waming up. well I don’t know if it’s true happy but at least I can go outside n play on the peewee bike, I’ve just recovered from an ankle injury which had me on crouches again for a couple of weeks. My mate next door cheers me up he’s cool he’s gonna make a dayum good bboy one day. His very inspirational too. he will find a way of making fireworks or at least fire out of something in the house.
As for my pain ‘management’ Ever since I saw the hospital specialist I’ve been in more pain then ever. Luckily about a month ago I started taking a mushroom supplement called’Ganaderma’ and it seems to have relaxed my quite alot I don’t really know if it’s reducing attacks yet.
My doc has sent me to a new doctor who handles chronic pain so this time I should be out of the woods and living a near ppain free life. I focus on the day I will wake up and feel free from attacks or at least have fewer attacks. That way my mind is focused on the best and ONLY outcome.
The depression well it comes and goes. I think if happy is 10 and sad is 5 Im about 3 most of the time. mainly due to the pain getting in the way of everything I love and enjoy. So even when I am happy (6) I don’t have much motivation to get the paints out or clean the dance floor.
My only real help these days medically is tylonol3s (panadeine 30) valium and stillnox. The T3’s are ok but no where near the realief I had from Oxycontin (long lasting painkiller). The valium helps my face alot and reduces most anxiety. And of course because I only sleep 3-4 hours a night Stillnox is the go works every time. Even half a tablet works. The doc said it was better because it’s not addictive like Temazepam (but costs 2 dollars a tablet!!! jeeeesh). Well I’m very happy with the stillnox it doesnt leave me with a hangover and lets me drift to sleep as soon as I lie down. I don’t even remember nightmares.
I’ve been trying to paint again lately (stuggling) I think I have the guts to post my pics now so next blog will be some of my works.