Back in and Back out. Being Screwed up.

March 20, 2008

 I went back in. Wasn’t feeling good at all the doc wrote a referal for the hospital. So again sent to the naughty room. Sat there for some hours. I finally went out for a smoke as I was walking back one of the Mental health workers came over to where I was smoking.

We had a chat bout some things he  was understanding/Listened and gave me some antipsychotics and let me go home.

So I slept last night.

I feel like shite today. No motivation. I’m amazed I can write this. Well least I got 1 more tab for tomorrow.

Peace and Love,


The Challenge

January 25, 2008

 I’ve been through so much in the last week all kinds of problems. I’ had cops lookin for me as a missing person a big fight with my partner.

It ended with authorities talking to me sick as in hospital with soreness and ross river.


The doctors seemed skeptical of everything. They asked for documentation for the Ross River Virus. I mean I got there in an ambulance I wasn’t thinking of documentation. So they had  to call all the blood companies to find my results. I must say they did treat me a bit better with that knowledge rather then the previous suspect that I was an addict in withdrawal pain. They have drug screened me every time I’ve been to hospital in the last year or so and of course nothing has come back. I feel like just because I’m young they assume I’m on drugs.

I have alot more to write about this so wait for updates.



Is it really just fake pain all over my body?

January 11, 2008

I asked myself many times maybe i can control it. But I can’t It’s there all the time and it aches all over constantly. My friend keeps telling me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help. I am hoping for the results of the test for polymyalgia and rosriver virus (carried by mosquitoes). Either way I’m desperate for a diagnosis so I can start treatment for it.

It’s lucky I have a GP who is really understanding. I’m trying to stay strong and it seems only my therapist and gp can see that. Friends are telling me I’m being weak and not fighting it hard enough. I don’t even know what I’m fighting. I do my best anyway they don’t need to tell me.